Several things have got me thinking about food today.
1. The pregnant dream reminded me of the huge pleasure I took in eating while pregnant.
2. I am about to start my period and I am all the time ravenous.
3. This new pot we just got gives me the extra bad munchies.
I loved eating while pregnant. It was one of the good things - even after I got so sick and was on bedrest and had a hard time feeling happy some days, food could usually do it, food could please me. I remember being newly pregnant, my eating routine went something like this: When I first woke up, I'd go right to the fridge to make a turkey sandwich. Not good fancy deli turkey, that cheap pressed-meat stuff that costs like 69 cents a packet. That was what the craving wanted. I'd make a sandwich with that and mayonnaise and eat it fast, standing barefoot in the kitchen, still half-asleep. I'd wash it down with a glass of orange juice and I'd try to choke down my prenatal vitamins. Then I'd take a shower, get ready for my day, go back into the kitchen and fix myself a giant bowl of Total cereal (we were getting WIC, so we always had tons of cereal and milk around). I'd cut up a banana in my cereal and take it and a glass of oj and a cup of coffee to the computer desk, and I'd sit and eat and check e-mail and the October mama threads at hipMama and all that. Then I'd leave for school. I'd bring granola bars and bottles of water with me - not quiet, chewy granola bars, those superhard crunchy Nature Valley things, mmm, the peanut butter ones. So I'd sit in class and CHOMP CHOMP on granola bars and SLURP SLURP out of my water bottle. I'd go have lunch with someone usually - tuna sandwiches with lettuce, tomato, sweet peppers, oil, and extra vinegar - so much vinegar that the bread got saturated and pinkish, mmm, at Blimpie, or bean burritos with lettuce, tomato, sour cream, and spanish rice at El Sombrero. I'd go back to school, sometimes go swimming after class but before returning home, usually after swimming I'd stop at the snack machines and get peanut butter crackers and a bottle of water or occasionally a Dr. Pepper. I'd come home, read, do homework, hang out with Vince, play video games, maybe have a peanut butter milkshake (hey, I just noticed I said 'peanut butter' three times in this paragraph! I never realized I had such a big pregnancy peanut butter craving before), and then Vince would make dinner and we'd eat. He was just getting good at making manicotti, so we'd have that a lot. Manicotti and garlic bread and a salad with just balsamic vinegar. Or angel hair pasta with a white wine, mushroom, tomato, garlic & butter sauce, and sauteed shrimp and scallops. Or Japanese hibachi-type food, the shrimp with that sweet orangey creamy sauce and fried rice and vegetables. Or hot dogs with jalapeno/avocado relish and spicy mustard. And then we'd watch tv or a movie and have a lot of sex, because I also liked sex a lot while pregnant. Sex and food. Nothing is better!
last night i dreamed i was pregnant. i wasn't happy glowy pregnant. ugh. i feel sick and irritated now. pregnant dreams are not happy dreams for me. kelly and i were working together at some theme park and we were both pregnant. i was feeling her baby kick. mine wasn't kicking. i remembered that i had accidentally been taking birth control pills the whole time i was pregnant so i was worried about what the effect would be on the baby. also vince was there and when i went back home i noticed he had taken all of my clothes and bela's clothes out of our closets. this made me so upset and i cried and cried and cried. turns out there was some ad in the newspaper that you could bring all your clothes down to this place and they'd spray them with this stuff that detoxified them and got rid of any fleas or bugs or toxicity or bad vibes. i thought, hm. okay. also bela's wiggles t-shirt came in the mail (in real life, i actually did order her a wiggles t shirt). it was blue with puffy sleeves and very girly and cute. and also i was pregnant i was pregnant eww eww eww. i better hurry up and bleed.
in other non dream news: i am working at the pizzeria this morning. i don't know what chipper happy spirit possessed my body last week and made me call tina and tell her i'd like to work this week, but whoever they are, they're out of my body now, and i totally just want to stay in bed and snooze. working, bah. i am the kind of person who, every day before work, thinks about all the reasons they don't want to go, and all the reasons they don't like it. i am not a positive person in the work category. but okay, it'll be fun. i'll get to see tina and amanda, both of whom i love dearly. i'll get to drink some good sweet tea and eat some good free lunch. it probably won't be that busy as it is tuesday and rainy and not a high-volume lunch day. negative things: people are going to be asking about my fucking foot over and over and i don't feel like talking about it and explaining it to everyone. also my foot still gets really swollen if i'm up on it for very long, which will definitely happen if i'm waiting tables. i think i can handle it, though. (for those who are new to my journal - hey y'all! - i broke my foot a couple months ago and had to wear a creepy metal fixator on it for five weeks and have just had it out of my foot for three weeks.)
bullshit! bullshit! bullshit!